A Letter To My Son

I don’t know where the time has gone.
It seems like only yesterday that we were planning for your arrival.
I worried so much about my abilities to take care of you.
Could I change a diaper? Could I hold you correctly? Could I calm you when you were sad?
It’s as if I’ve blinked and now you’re a beautiful little boy.
Curlyhaired, dimpled cheeks, the bluest of blue eyes.
A two-and-a-half year old free spirit who has captured my heart.
I feel like I’ve failed you.
I told you I would protect you and keep you safe.
But even with all my best efforts, you were diagnosed with autism.
How did this happen?
Was it the vaccines?
I had a sinking feeling every time you were immunized that this could be a mistake.
I may not have done the best job of protecting you then, but I will give every last ounce I have to helping you heal and recover.
I certainly do not love you any less because of your autism, but because I love you so much, I will fight for you.
Therapy, biomedical treatments…whatever it takes.
The world may tell me to cope with autism, but I will instead hope for a better life for you.
I will not let autism define your life.
You will choose your own path in life.
Autism will not choose it for you.
Whatever job you desire, relationships you seek, will be your choice, not the choice of autism.
I have never loved anyone in this world the way I love you and because of that it is my duty and honor to do all I can for you.
From the moment you were born I knew our little family was destined for greatness together.
Let our journey to your recovery be our finest hour.
We will show the world that we will not let autism take over our lives.
Someday you won’t always be so little.
But you’ll always be my beautiful son.



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4 Responses to “A Letter To My Son”

  1. hopingnotcoping Says:

    This is beautiful, my husband. Let this be our decree to keep fighting hard to make our boy better. With God’s help, we’ll look back at this one day and be able to say, “How far we’ve all come!”

  2. Sharon K. Lind Says:

    This needs to go in Josiah’s album……I nearly cried when I read this—and I thank God for you daily–you are the greatest of blessings to my daughter and grandson, and thereby to me….love ya….

  3. Lori Says:

    Absolutely moving. There is not a day I don’t think of you and Josiah. You are an excellent father and you will have your family’s support at your side always. You are “destined for greatness”.

  4. nicoleeldridge Says:

    That was just beautiful. Thank you for such a loving message that I could relate to as a Mommy of an autistic little girl. God bless you and your family. Here’s to a wonderful life!!

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