Louder than Words

When I first read the book “Louder Than Words” by Jenny McCarthy it took me a while to fully grasp the meaning of the title. Well I learned it doesn’t take long with an autistic child what that phrase really means.

We’re fortunate that Josiah is verbal. Many parents of children with autism never get to hear their child speak or they have to wait many years. Josiah mainly dishes out one word statements or the occasional two-word phrase. My wife & I are so thankful for that but we’re also so desperate to hear that sweet little voice of his say more words to us. You can tell that the words are swimming around in his head, but at this stage he’s not quite sure how to get them out.

There are days where I can accept that at least for right now, we just have to be thankful for the words we do have. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dying inside to hear him say “I love you Daddy!” I think most people who have kids without autism don’t realize what a gift their child’s language is. I’m sure there are those days where you wish the kid would be quiet for a second, but to be able to have a two-way conversation with your child must be an amazing thing.

Recently it’s been a challenge for us when we can tell Josiah isn’t feeling well. We’re still at the stage most people are with an infant where we can’t just get an easy answer from him. Is your tummy hurting? Are you just tired? Are you in some kind of pain? Instead of getting some sort of answer, we’re left to play a guessing game.

Anyway, to make a long story short…I do understand now what it means to have a love that is louder than words. I would give anything to hear more words, but at the same time I know Josiah loves me by his actions. Whether it’s a smile or just by him wanting me to be in his presence I know that he loves me. Just last night I went to give him a hug and kiss goodnight and his little arms wrapped around my neck so tight. He pulled his little cheek next to mine and for that moment I was reminded of the special bond Josiah and I share. I pray to God that someday we’ll have a conversation together, but for now we’ll just have to let each other know we love each other in a way that is louder than words.

One Response to “Louder than Words”

  1. Kathy C. Says:

    Hopefully it won’t be long before you hear the words you hunger for. In the meantime, treasure those smiles & hugs, and know that they speak volumes! Josiah loves you SO much!!

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